6 Blink

And so I finally came to my senses and decided to focus my practice on being a fan of Jedward and the Jedward fandom. It was way too hard to focus on just being a fan of things in general, it was so broad and overwhelming especially because I find it so hard to explain in the first place why exactly I’m a fan of something and how it makes me feel. Ain’t gonna lie, I was going a bit insane. So why not just focus on just one fan relationship? And the biggest fan relationship I have at the moment is being a fan of Jedward, a Jedhead if you will. It would be foolish of me not to, I have a vast network of comrade fans, I already have a rich wealth of knowledge about Jedward and being a Jedward fan and perhaps most useful of all, I have an actual connection with Jedward themselves. It suddenly seemed so obvious that I should be making Jedward fan work.  But again the question of how I can make art about something I’m a fan of without making fan-art or art that’s about Jedward? So I wanted to make a work that’s about obsession and fixation and the pleasure of looking and admiring. 

Tumblr is like the internet’s Christmas present to me. I don’t run a Tumblr myself, I fear that if I go down that rabbit hole I’ll never emerge again but the hours I’ve spent  looking through hundreds of Tumblrs.. something catches my eye on Google Images, I click, I end up on a Tumblr page, next page, next page and then suddenly it’s 4am and I’ve not done a single thing with my whole day. Digesting image after image in seconds, drinking them in with a thirst that can’t be quenched. I think I see more images in a night than most people did in a lifetime 100 years ago. 

I love Tumblrs about travel and art and couture and random inspiration Tumblrs and gothic morbid Tumblrs and bohemian living and dream houses and, obviously yes, I love fan Tumblrs about Jedward because, and this is utterly vital, I love looking at them.  And this is essential in a fan/idol relationship. Collecting images, having images, looking at images, creating images, manipulating images and sharing images. And I don’t think you need necessarily to be attracted to the idol to have take pleasure in having and seeing pictures of them or to think they’re physically beautiful. Not at all. When I was 14 Billy Boyd, who played Pippin in LOTR, was my idol. I knew he was old enough to be my dad and I wasn’t attracted to him, I just thought he was really really cool. I had pictures of him everywhere- On my computer, on my school books and on my walls. 

And I have pictures of Oscar Wilde anywhere I can fit them in my room and in my studio not because he’s physically beautiful to look at but because I think seeing an image of someone says so much about that person you admire and brings up all the feeling you have about them and why you admire them.  Joseph Merrick is one of my heroes too. He was also known as the Elephant Man. I have a few images of him around my studio; he’s properly the best example I can possibly think of ‘not necessarily physically beautiful’. But his image not only awakens thoughts about his life and his character and what inspires me about him but it reminds me that although I talk, write and make art about beauty, beauty isn’t a physical trait. Beauty is in your actions, your thoughts, your life, your soul.

Sorry, beauty is one of my favorite things in the world to talk about. I’ll get a move on or this entry will become way too lengthy. So yes, I love to look at images of John and Edward Grimes. Hell, I’m looking at one right now, they’re on my mug! And I love GIFs and GIFs of Jedward because in less than a second of moving image, you can get volumes of glorious information. And it takes less than a second to capture these tiny precious things that fans enjoy looking at, their gestures, mannerisms, a look, a dance move, a laugh, a smile, an action that has such little consequence but so much significance to a fan.  I thought what better way to make a work about obsession and looking than to take a GIF of the most mundane action, blinking, and recreating it by hand frame by frame and joyously celebrating every tiny little beautiful moment. It’s 7 frames long and took me a hell of a long time, it’s not perfect but I like the scratchy, jerky imperfect awkwardness of it.